Technology is great, but sometimes it takes a while for language to catch up.
How did we describe the feeling of seeing a supposedly cool person turn out to be racist before we had ‘Milkshake Duck’, or express our exasperation without ‘smh’?
19 funny words which sound really dirty but are actually totally innocent
Sometimes new words evolve organically. But sometimes the lexicon, needs a bit of love. And a push in the right direction.
Here are 15 things we think we need new words to describe, and our humble suggestions for what those words might be.
1. Tindaaagh
The feeling when you’re swiping left, left, left, left, left, left, and accidentally ‘nope’ somebody really cute (but don’t want to pay Tinder to get the undo option).
2. Mehvies
The many, many not-quite-A-List movies on Netflix and Amazon Prime that you’re almost but never quite bored enough to consider watching.
3. Twanger
The sudden and overwhelming desire to murder a complete stranger because they posted something stupid on Twitter.
4. Nupdating
Expecting joy from a new software update only to discover that it’s broken all your apps, deleted half of your photo library and frightened the cat.
5. iProd
iPhone-style tapping or swiping a MacBook or PC screen because sure, that’s totally going to work.
6. Pornanoia
The feeling that someone in authority is logging your sexy-site browsing to use against you in some unspecified way at some point in the future.
7. Pretinder
A completely unrepresentative photo used in a Tinder bio that helped trick you into going on this terrible date.
8. Hubburbs
The second and third home screens of your smart phone or tablet where all the apps you installed and used once languish unused and unloved.
9. Baranoia
Expecting a crucial call or message when there’s only one bar of signal.
10. Appalanoia
The paranoia that, when your friends or colleagues are tapping away on their phones, they’re actually tapping terrible things about you in a group chat you’re not invited to.
11. WhatsAtt
The sinking feeling when a fun, fast WhatsApp (other chat apps are available) chat suddenly stalls for no good reason immediately after you make a really good point or joke.
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12. Batmosfear
The inexplicable anxiety you feel when somebody posts a screengrab of their phone and you can see that their battery indicator is in the red.
13. Badvertising
The adverts that immediately cover the page you’re trying to read and whose close buttons are in a stupid place, don’t appear for 10 seconds or are almost invisible.
14. Sadvertising
When a website asks you to turn off your ad blocker to read something valuable that took a lot of time and effort and that you don’t have to pay any money to read.
15. Ad nausea
When a website asks you to turn off your ad blocker and you do, only to discover that the article is rubbish and your screen’s full of badvertising.
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MORE: 10 words and phrases you didn’t know existed until you had a baby
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