Do you prefer complete silence on your Uber or Lyft journey? Or are you a chatterbox and want to get to know the rich backstory of your driver (and in turn get that rating up)?
After one Uber driver offered a menu allowing you to choose the kind of ride you wanted, a Lyft driver has followed suit.
Both drivers offered the silent option (probably the most popular), the stand-up, and the therapy ride.
But the Lyft driver, who goes by the name John and drives around Nashville, added in a few extra options.
Johns ride menu included chats about his life in prison and bad decisions, like getting a tattoo of a partner on your butt (what were you thinking, John?), as well as more aggressive options.
Also on the menu are the creepy ride where he stares at you and licks his lips and the sado-masochistic ride where he insults your family. But he does warn that this ride begins with you being kicked out of the car first.
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Whatever option you choose, you wont be forgetting Johns services if you ride with him.
Types of ride on offer
The Stand-Up Ride
I tell you about things I learned in prison and poor life choices I have made. Dont put a tattoo of your girlfriend on your butt. It rarely works out well.
The Creepy Ride
I dont say anything. I just leer at you periodically in the review mirror and lick my lips in an unpleasant, malicious or lascivious manner.
The Therapy Ride
Tell me about all your problems and I will pretend to care.
The Sympathy Ride
I tell you about my problems and you pretend to care.
The Sado-Masochistic Ride
I insult you and your relatives (particularly your mother) and be as rude as I possibly can to you the whole trip. Warning: This ride begins by me throwing you out of the car and making you run to catch up.
The Chill Out Ride
I put on beautiful, quiet, classical music and you arrive at your destination relaxed, refreshed and less likely to complain about the TSA strip search.
The Gluttony Ride
I recommend the best restaurants in town and warn you to stay away from the other over-hyped ones. (I will join you upon request.)
The Jeopardy Ride
I tell you fun facts and trivia about Nashville which will help you win game shows and amaze your friends. Hint: Ask me about “hookers”.
Naturally, people were amused on Reddit where an image of the menu was shared. Many said it was a good business tactic as people may be interested in riding with him more times to try all the options.
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Those glutton for punishment might even choose the same ride each time.
